Reality Check. What's happening to us. Humans.

Last week, I've been on a lecture about how do you react to conflicts and what do you usually do when you are facing one. I've learned that the most likely best way to solve is to think about how did the conflict started and from there find a way to sort things out by finding a solution that the both sides can agree with. Sounds easy? Well for me it's not that easy. When you are in an argument with someone who is the totally opposite of you. You don't have the time to think about how things started, and all you want is to let that person understand what you mean so he/she can join your side.

Egoistic.

That day we also had this gruop discussion about conflicts. And there's this question: What will you do when two of your workmates are in the middle of an arguement.

My answer: Don't get involed, As long as they are not affecting me. But when the work gets affected I will talk to the manager to sort things out.

In my head: It's their problem. Why should I get involved with it. I am not trying to be martyr and be the one to solve it. I just don't want to be in the middle of it. I might end up being bad. Or maybe instead of sorting things out I might end up also having arguement with the both of them and I want to avoid it. And plus it might affect my job.

After I spit out my answer, for a second there I was so shock about myself. Is that how I am right now? I am so egoistic. I was only thinking about the concequences the conflict can do for me. ONLY ME! or is it only me?

When you think about it. I might not only thinking about myself. What if I was thinking of like: I don't want to get involved and end up ruining my job too because I need the money for my "future family".

Does that still counts being Egoistic?

Just can't stand it

I feel so confused right now. What do you really want.. 

Am i just over thinking things and putting my own conclusion?

What do you really want! Is this still a part of the game? 

Quit messing around that much.

You might unintentionally get overboard.

And please stop showing some false intentions. 

I don't own a stone heart.

 I maybe am numb but I know how to love.

I know how to care

I know how to cherish someone special.

So quit messing around if you're doing it half hearted

Stop it now before things gets more complicated 

I am just a human being.

There is just that time when you will feel really bad about yourself. Like you hate yourself by being you. Why am I not like that, Why I can't do that, Why must I be like this?.. Don't get me wrong, I love myself (that sounded so "EGO"). I appreciate everything I have right now. but honestly speaking..I am not contented with myself, I do have so much flaws. Which they say that those flaws are the one who makes you who you are. But sometimes you just can't be happy about yourself. You will always find something you want to change.. Believe it or not I am currently on that stage.. I want to change and I am working on it, both physically and mentally. And it's really hard but I know it's possible.




Maybe what I just meant is I am currently is on the lowest point. (really a bad thing huh?) I don't have any confidence at all. And I just feel so alone.. Alone in my own world.. No one dares to come inside and join me just for a little while..

What do you really want..

Lesson of the month: Don't tease someone too much.. It can really cause trouble.

I never learned huh?? I know that I maybe got too far away and got overboard but honestly I didn't mean it.. Or should I say that I didn't notice that  WE are heading that way of the road. Now things are getting so complicated. And I don't know what to think about it or what to do about it.

I thought you are my teasing buddy.. We teased each other for the longest time that i get accustomed to it. My brain usually goes to auto-flight when it comes on teasing you.. I know it's bad but we just started it to long ago that it's hard to avoid it and tell to my brain to stop whatever it plans to do.. It becomes my habit. A really bad habit.

I guess it's just how the games goes.. Sooner or later someone will give up and take everything seriously. And in this game, It's you who lose.

Am I bad on doing this?? I feel so guilty..

been too much..

That's just who I am 

I finally completed all 5 books of "The Mortal Instruments".. And yeah I it's my new addiction.. Well it's not new that I am addicted to books but the "The Mortal Instruments" series is my THING right now. I am currently reading the third book, which is the City of Glass. The first two book went really fast.. I was done with the first two books in one week. But this third book it's going kinda going slow obviously because I don't have that much free time.

I also purchased another two books. They are in swedish. To tell you the truth they are the last in line of the books I am planning to read but they have such interesting story so I decided to buy them anyways. And I really need to read in Swedish to develop my Swedish language. 

And there goes the bag.. You might find it boring cause it's so plain. But i liked it cause it's so spacious and plus it's in sale in half prize 

Last but not at all the least are the accessories.. Well what to say about them.. I just think they are nice.

You just can't miss me huh?

2 days of sickness!! Grr!!  I just can't stand it anymore! My brother started it. First I thought that I am strong enough not to have a flu.. I was wrong..